Questions That Keep Me Up At Night

1. Do you ever think you are mentally retarded except no one has ever told you?
2. Why was Professor Utonium making little girls in the first place?
3. Does Waldo not want to be found?
4. Why is it called 5 gum?
5. What if the assassinated presidents were never killed?
6. What could you use to fuel a machine that goes the speed of light?
7. When we use up all the petrol will we attempt to condense animals into fuel?
8. Are there comedians who don't use sarcasm?
9. Korn? Keep on running nigger? Seriously what?
10. If they have a private school for midgets is basketball played in gym class?
11. What are the rules for a breathing contest?
12. What WOULD Jesus do?

The second one is still my favorite.

1. Do you ever think you are mentally retarded except no one has ever told you?
I think about this all the time. You have no idea.

2. Why was Professor Utonium making little girls in the first place?
Professor Utonium was only trying to make one little girl, because he wanted to be a father.

3. Does Waldo not want to be found?
Waldo neither wants to be found nor to be not found, he just has a knack for getting himself lost in crowds.

4. Why is it called 5 gum?
Advertisements for the gum suggest it stimulates all five of the human senses.

5. What if the assassinated presidents were never killed?
Lyndon Johnson would never have been president.

6. What could you use to fuel a machine that goes the speed of light?
Whatever we're already using. Time travel is theoretically possible through the use of Kerr holes. Kerr holes are rotating black holes that could be used as portals for time travel or travel to parallel universes

7. When we use up all the petrol will we attempt to condense animals into fuel?
If that happens, I'm going to go live underground.

8. Are there comedians who don't use sarcasm?
No.

9. Korn? Keep on running nigger? Seriously what?
What?

10. If they have a private school for midgets is basketball played in gym class?
I'm sure they do, with lower hoops.

11. What are the rules for a breathing contest?
What the hell is a breathing contest?

12. What WOULD Jesus do?
Condone cannibalism.

Don't answer my questions with a question.

I have one,

Why did you leave the keys up on the table?

Because you wanted to.

Oh yeah.

Where are all the children?

The Rolling Stones took them.

Will anyone get this?

WAR CHEELDREN?

Whatever, I'm the smartest person here because I answered the most questions.

There's no more questions, and you were the first, so why would that make you the smartest?

BECAUSE I ANSWERED THEM ALL ON MY OOOOOWN

A number three pencil that was used by George Bush to sign the Decleration of Independance.

...



WHAT.

1. Do you ever think you are mentally retarded except no one has ever told you?


This question has haunted me more than you will ever know.

You know what really bothers me? The Life Skills kids who aren't, like, severely retarded all watch South Park. But that show makes fun of retards all the time. Do they know they're retarded? Are they like "HA HA STUPID RETARDS" ???

I laughed so hard at that.

"If I had retarded kids, I'd keep them skinny!"

What?

What hat? I see no hat.

I'm a terrible person, Rachael.

Are talking about the black kid in life skills?

I remember the really big one!